ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
