I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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