i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize