the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
