she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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