Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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