MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
