Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
