just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
