id be glad to
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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