im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
