I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
