why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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