shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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