how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
