I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize