Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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