This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
