okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Randomize
