Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
