what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
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