I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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