if only i could text you this smell
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Randomize
