I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
