I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
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