Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
How's work?
Spinning.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
