I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Randomize