Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
