how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize