Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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