Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
