I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
