i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
