before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
