is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
