I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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