so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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