Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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