I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
