I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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