May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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