he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
40s are totally the cure
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
