Tell her she can't have a vagina
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You can't motorboat a personality
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize