If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
