She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
