Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
