is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
