I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
