the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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