I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
