sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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