Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Who put my cat in the fridge?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
