I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
