nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
