Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
