Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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