You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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