She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
