We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize