are you still at the devil's house?
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
be right there i have to get my cape
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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