We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Randomize
