Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
