hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize