Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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