Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
