who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
