Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
