Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
