So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
