drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
