We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
