I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
