someone threw a dead crab at me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
