summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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