he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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