I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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