I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Boobs are out for the taking
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Randomize
