when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize