you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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