i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I need mimosas to revive my soul
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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