Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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