i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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