Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
