Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I FOUND THE LEGS
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize