Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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